Bloody Pirates
by Angelina Sparrow
Summary: (Formerly "It's a Nautical Term")Another quest! And Barbossa's back! Screams of horror. Trust me, it's a lot funnier than it sounds. I mean, everyone loves a Shakespeare quoting pirate, right? New name, same great story! FINISHED WITH SEQUEL ON THE WAY
1. A Pirate's Life for Me!

Bloody Pirates  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own anything to do with Pirates of the Caribbean, nor will I ever do so. I would like to own Jack, though. .  
  
Author's note: This is a work of fiction. All the characters and events portrayed in this fic are either products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Tee hee, like you need that! . This is a fic involving my name, because it would be my pirate name if I was one! Don't I wish! .  
  
Author's Note #2: I'm going to need crew members! If you are interested, post me your name, gender, age, special talents, why you want to be on the crew, etc. on Random Musings (Here's the address: ) in the general forum, under the topic called "Angelina's Crew"! (If you're confused, just go to , click on General, and find the topic called "Angelina's Crew". Clarified, now? If not, I don't know what to say. I'm getting a new email address and had to use my friend's to sign up for and , so I can't get emails until then. I'll let you know when it's up and running, though. Just check my bio page.) Thanks so much, I promise you'll have a good voyage! . P.S. I didn't come up with the idea for people signing up for my crew, I got it from Hobbit-eyes' fics ("The Search for the Big Pink Pretty albeit Cursed Diamond" and "Not all Treasure is Silver and Gold") and she deserves the credit for this brilliant and hilarious idea!  
  
Author's Note #3: There is a lot of lines or event from the original movie that are used in different ways, especially in this chapter. But in other chapters there will be a lot more originality because of so many new characters.  
  
BLOODY PIRATES  
  
CHAPTER 1: A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME  
  
The knife glinted in the sun as Angelina brought it to her shining bronze hair. She took a deep breath, this was what she wanted, but why did she feel so sad all of a sudden? Almost as soon as the feeling had begun, it ended and she began sawing at the bundle of hair in her hand. The long hair came off in clumps and soon the floor was littered with what looked like bunches of thin wheat stalks. She gathered them together and tied a ribbon around the bundle.  
  
Laying the hair on the table, she picked up her plainest skirt and put it on. She turned to the mirror and looked at herself. Her hair barely made it past her chin. She shook her head, tossing the bit of hair left back and forth. She'd have to get used to the feeling, the feeling of being free.  
  
Cautiously, she walked into the parlor where her mother, father and sister sat. Her mother gasped and her hand flew to her mouth, her sister laughed, and her father muttered, "What in blazes...?" Angelina tried to smile a bit, but all she could muster was a half grin.  
  
"What have you done?" Her mother cried and she ran to Angelina and gingerly touched her cropped hair.  
  
"I've cut my hair to become a pirate," Angelina announced as if it were as natural as the sun setting.  
  
"A pirate, for heaven's sake?"  
  
"Yes. I want to sail with the wind at my back and the salty sea spray on my face."  
  
"Where have you gotten those ideas?" He father asked, simply not believing that his lovely oldest daughter, the pride of his life, had done something so foolish.  
  
"Books."  
  
"Dear, that's why you are not supposed to read. It puts ideas in one's head that can be downright idiotic."  
  
"I'm becoming a pirate whether anyone wants me to or not." With that, Angelina picked up her bag that she had packed and slung it over her shoulder.  
  
She gave a quick hug to each of her family, and then left for the front door.  
  
"Aren't you going to try to stop her?" Her mother whispered to her father.  
  
"She won't even make it to the wharf. She'll be back in about as much time as it would take for me to convince her to come back."  
  
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Jack Sparrow was fixing the rigging on his ship, the Black Pearl. He was humming as he worked "Hm hm hmhmhmhmhmhmhm hm hm hm...And really bad EGGS!!!!!! Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me!"  
  
Angelina cringed at his singing as she hid behind a barrel on Jack's ship. If his singing was any indication, this would be an easy take-over.  
  
Jack was just coming to the fun part of the chorus, when he turned around and a girl with cropped brown hair assaulted him with a man's shaving knife.  
  
"Arg! Avast!" she called and made fast work of climbing the rigging and eventually succeeding in pinning Jack on the floor of the deck. She held the knife to his throat and said, "I'm taking over this ship."  
  
"Uh, I beg to differ." Jack said and pulled his sword off the pile of ropes he had laid it on. The girl backed off and stepped away. Jack laughed and said, "You're pretty feisty, what's your name?" She just stared back at him. "Alright, I'll call you...Anne, after the great woman pirate, and of course, my lovely Annamaria."  
  
"You're close, but wrong. I'm Angelina, Angelina Sparrow."  
  
Jack couldn't believe his ears. "Sparrow? Really?" He thought for a minute and then asked quickly, "Who is your father?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Well, then, no answer."  
  
"You know who he was, though?"  
  
"Depends."  
  
Jack sighed, half hiding a smile because he enjoyed bickering. "You're going to be very difficult, aren't you?"  
  
She just smiled.  
  
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"We put in to port in about a day. Until then, you sleep here." Jack had finished showing his new – and only – crewmember around the ship.  
  
He opened a small door and led her in.  
  
"Just wonderful," She said sarcastically. "So roomy."  
  
"Beggars can't be choosers. Plus, I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So..." He offered her his hand. "Can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?"  
  
"Tortuga? Savvy." She declared. They shook on it.  
  
Jack smiled as he left the room. "I like you. I'll keep you."  
  
Angelina smiled at the closed door. She had done it. She was on her way to becoming a pirate.  
  
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The next day was 'initiation' for Angelina. She had to climb to the top of the mainmast and back. And this, of course, she did. Not without some struggles, like getting tangled in the rope. When she was about three feet from the deck, she jumped down, loosing her balance.  
  
"Ye need to get your sea-legs, Anne."  
  
"I'm Angelina!"  
  
"Well, isn't Anne short for Angelina?"  
  
"I guess."  
  
"Then Anne it shall be. She was a pirate once. Very famous."  
  
"Well, am I in or did I fail?"  
  
"Oh, you passed with flying colors!"  
  
"Good. Now, I propose a toast." She pulled out a bottle of rum that she had found stashed under the bed in her room.  
  
Jack eyed it and made a mental note to hide his rum better next time or it would be gone.  
  
"To the life of a pirate, the life of freedom!" She threw her head back and drank half of the bottle in one gulp.  
  
She passed it to Jack who raised his eyebrow, then grinned. "To freedom!" He yelled, throwing an arm around her shoulders and drinking the rest of the rum.  
  
When he was through he said, "Now we can't have a pirate running around with a shaving knife as her only defense. Let's find you a sword."  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Oh, I know a quaint little blacksmith shop along the way."  
  
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The ship docked and Jack and Angelina jumped onto the wharf.  
  
"It's so...proper" Angelina said with disgust.  
  
Jack, who had had a bottle of rum before they put into port, was finding everything extremely entertaining and laughed at the look of loathing on Angelina's face. He turned around toward her and spread his arms out. "Welcome to Port Royal, love."  
  
The harbormaster stopped them and looked at them with aversion. "It's...ah, one shilling each to tie up your ship at the docks. And I'll need your names."  
  
Jack was about to make a move, but Angelina beat him to it. "What say you to three shillings each...and we forget about the names?" She spilled six shillings onto the record book.  
  
"Welcome to Port Royal, Mr. and Mrs. Smith."  
  
"Oh, we're not married."  
  
"Miss Smith, then."  
  
"Thank you." Angelina said, walking away.  
  
Jack just stood there with his mouth open. Then he snapped back to life and ran after her. "Like I said before, I'm keeping you." Then he thought about the amount she had paid. "But, you gave him six shillings? What a waste! Think about all the rum we could buy!" Angelina didn't act like she was listening.  
  
She strode to a post and plucked a small bag from atop it. She tossed it to Jack with a smug smile. "Think of all the rum we could buy."  
  
Jack looked in the bag and saw a large amount of coins, mostly shillings. He looked up with a smile, not hiding his awe that there could be a girl so much like him. "I'm thinking, I'm thinking." He said.  
  
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As they strolled up the street, both of them a bit more drunk than when they put into to Port Royal, a girl stomped up to Jack. "Jack," she said with a small smile.  
  
"Ah, Elizabeth! How long has it been? A year? Two? Too long!"  
  
She smacked him and stormed off.  
  
Jack turned to Angelina. "Not sure I deserved that."  
  
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The blacksmith shop was hot and it smelled like singed hair. Jack chuckled when he smelled it and patted the donkey on the head. "No hard feelings, me boy?"  
  
A young man came around the corner holding a red hot sword. "Jack," he said, able to convey a large amount of dismay at seeing him again in just one word.  
  
"Will, my boy! How are you?" Jack didn't notice.  
  
"Why are you here?"  
  
"I need a sword." Angelina said, stepping from behind Jack.  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Angelina Sparrow, at your service." She took her hat off and bowed.  
  
"Jack, you...uh...you're m-"  
  
It was Angelina's turn to smack someone. She chose Will. "Miss Sparrow, to you." Angelina said.  
  
Will made a mental note not to do anything to make Angelina smack him. She had nails, and she used them.  
  
"Did he really deserve that?"  
  
"Yes. Kind of like you didn't deserve that other smack?"  
  
"Do tell." Said Will, looking interested in who had lately injured Jack.  
  
"I met up with your lovely Elizabeth."  
  
"Oh, Jack, were you harassing her?"  
  
"Harassing?" Jack looked shocked. "Harassing! Humph! All I said was hello and she smacked me! Now who's harassing who?" Jack gave a smug nod.  
  
Will shook his head. He turned to Angelina, who to him, looked like a female version of Jack. He shuddered. One Jack was all this world could handle. "You needed a sword?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What kind?" He sighed; this was not going to be easy.  
  
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After an hour of swooshing swords, Angelina picked up on of the last few lying in a pile on the ground. She gave a mighty swoosh and accidentally smacked Will in the head with the flat end of the blade.  
  
"I like this one!" She announced.  
  
Jack looked proud. "The sword chooses the pirate, I always say."  
  
Will held his aching head and steadied himself.  
  
"Let's go." Jack turned to leave.  
  
"Wait," said Will. "You didn't pay!"  
  
"Will, I would've thought you'd learned by now." Jack said. He took Angelina's sword from her and took a minute, gauging its weight, balance, tang, etcetera. Then, he smacked Will again, this time knocking him out. He looked at the sword. "I like this one, too." He and Angelina left the way they had come in.  
  
"That went well." Jack said.  
  
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Jack was telling Angelina about his last adventure over a mug of ale. "You know, Captain Barbossa didn't die though."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Yeah, see, I'd had a bit of rum before the fight and from three bloody feet away, I missed his heart!" Jack smacked the table with his hand. "Been kicking myself ever since." He gave a large sigh and Angelina patted him on the shoulder conciliatorily.  
  
"Wait a minute," said Angelina, "I think I remember seeing him hung."  
  
Jack perked up. "Really?"  
  
"Yeah, last year."  
  
"Ah, that does my heart good, love. This calls for another round of drinks!" He waved the bartender over and ordered more drinks.  
  
Angelina just walked to the counter and came back with a huge mug.  
  
"What's that?" Jack asked with interest.  
  
"This, my friend, is a quart."  
  
"It comes in quarts?"  
  
Angelina made an affirmative noise into her tankard.  
  
"I'm getting one!" Jack got out of his chair with much difficulty and nearly sprinted to the bar.  
  
After she had downed the quart, Angelina looked around at the pub. There was a wanted poster hanging on the far wall. She got up to look.  
  
It was Barbossa. He was back. "But they hung him." Angelina's head started to spin from the amount of alcohol and from thinking to hard. She went back to the table to break the news to Jack.  
  
"Jack,"  
  
He just nodded, absorbed in the three tankards he had ordered.  
  
"Barbossa's back from the dead."  
  
Jack spluttered and spat ale across the table. "What?!"  
  
"See, that wanted poster? That's him."  
  
Jack squinted in the general direction she was pointing, but couldn't quit swaying long enough to read to poster. "I'll just take your word for it."  
  
"So, what do we do? He's going to be after you."  
  
Jack giggled. "You rhymed!"  
  
Angelina smacked him. Hard. "Snap out of it! We need to kill him and get rid of him for good!"  
  
"You'reverypretty..." Jack slurred.  
  
Angelina dragged him out of the pub, him protesting all the way.  
  
"We're going to have to go after him. We'll need a crew."  
  
She turned to see if Jack was listening. He wasn't. He was trying to chat up an old lady. Her husband was looking like he was going to murder Jack. Angelina went over and took his arm and apologized to the revolted couple. She steered Jack away. "I guess we'll have to worry about the crew tomorrow, when you will be able to think straight again."  
  
She decided to try to get him in a better mood because he had resorted to pouting. And a mad drunk was harder to deal with than a happy drunk. She guessed. "Ya know, there's a song that I learned when I was a child. I sang it when I was really angry and it helped."  
  
"Yeah?"  
  
"Yeah. It goes like this: Oh--------------- a pirate's life is the life for me. De da la da da da da da da da. Cause I never, never, never, never care about the weather, cause the weather never ever does a thing for me!" Jack smiled. "And then you sing it faster and faster and faster. It's fun!"  
  
Jack laughed and tried to sing it, but ended up slurring it together so bad that Angelina couldn't understand it. And she even knew the words. "I love this song!" Jack yelled. People were beginning to stare. "I'm going to teach it to my crew and we're gonna sing it all the time!" He started singing again and Angelina wondered if she hadn't made a mistake teaching it to him. She took him back to the ship and locked him in his room, where he could still be heard, singing away.  
  
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	2. Jack's Hat

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Author's Note: Hey! Where's all my crew?! I've only got Kat Maxwell, Anna Mariea, Jane Finch, and I'm adding Milly (Hopefully she wants me to!) I need some guys! If I don't get willing volunteers, I'll be forced to imprison the guys we hang out with on our ship and torture them! Evil laughter Actually, that would be fun!

But, please, PLEASE sign up, I promise this will be hilarious! You'll have fun!

CHAPTER TWO: JACK'S HAT

Jack and Angelina decided that they were going to need a sword smith in this adventure and went to the blacksmith shop again.

Will was working away, when Jack snuck up behind him and hit him with one of Mr. Brown's bottles. Will slumped over and Angelina and Jack stuffed him in a sack. They decided that Will would not stay if Elizabeth wasn't along, so they told her that Will had been kidnapped and put on the Black Pearl. Of course, Elizabeth went running. Once she was on, Jack gave the signal and Angelina pulled the ship out of the harbor.

At sunset, they docked in Tortuga. Both Will and Elizabeth were dragged to the pub. Will was groggy and Elizabeth was fretting about not having any other clothes. And Jack...well Jack was drunk.

"I mean, really, is it so much to ask that you would have let me get another few changes of clothes?"

"Oh please, you're not gonna want to wear that anyway on the ship." Jack said, bouncing his eyebrows.

Elizabeth looked horrified. Angelina pushed Jack back and tried to clear things up, which was becoming increasingly hard because Jack was putting his arm around her and trying to kiss her.

"Elizabeth, what he means is...Jack! Quit it! He means, you're going to want to wear pirate clothes. You'll be able to work better."

"Work?!" If it was possible, Elizabeth was even more horrified.

"What both of them mean," Will put in, glancing at Angelina trying to get Jack under control. "Is that you and I are crew."

"CREW?!" The pub went silent and everyone looked at Elizabeth. She smiled, waved, and everyone went back to their business; Drinkers drinking, bartenders bartending, whores...whoreing.

Elizabeth stormed out the door, Will trailing behind. Angelina looked after them. Jack stole the opportunity and grabbed her...you know where.

"JACK!!!" For the second time, the pub went silent and looked at the table. Jack smiled and waved this time and Angelina pushed past him and left. Jack tried to grab the remaining four mugs of ale and stuff them in his shirt, but only succeeded in breaking them all. He ran after the other three to escape the bartender's wrath.

Jack was swaggering along, drunker than a...well he was really REALLY drunk. He was singing a combination of Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me and a pirate's life is the life for me and people were beginning to stare. Angelina walked embarrassedly along beside him.

"C'mon! You know the words!" Jack prompted. Angelina shook her head.

Then she spotted something running through the crowd. "Jack,"

"Hm?"

"Isn't that your hat running away?"

"What?!" Jack felt his head. "Thatbloodybas'ard!WhenIcatchhimI'mgonna..." Jack ran after it, slurring and swearing all the way. Angelina followed, only caring about Jack's wellbeing and safety. And for a laugh.

Jack caught the person and grabbed his hat. He dropped it when he realized that the thief was a girl of about 17 and he was even more puzzled to find that she kept muttering the word 'hats'.

"Bloodybas'ard!Youstolemehat!"

The girl looked at him and took the hat from his hand and put it on her head defiantly.

"Whyd'youwantmehat?"

"I like hats." She said simply.

By the time Angelina had caught up to them, Jack was welcoming the girl onto his crew. She ran off to get 'some things she needed' and came back with two enormous trunks.

"Whatinbloodyhellisinthose?" Jack asked, swaying.

"Hats." She said simply. Angelina shook her head and Jack beamed.

When all were back on the Pearl and the girl's hats stashed away in the hold, they all cumulated on the deck.

"So what's your name and why did you want to be on the crew? And...why are you obsessed with hats?" Angelina regarded the girl with much curiosity, and a little wariness.

"Well, me name is Jane Finch...and I-"

"Whatinbloodyhelliswithallofthebirdnames?" Jack put in.

Jane ignored him and kept talking. "I want Jack's hat. That's why I'm on the crew." Angelina looked worried. "I was raised to be an actress. I would wear big fancy hats, but I didn't make it and became this." She gestured to herself. "This street waif with an obsession about hats and talents of spitting far, pick pocketing, and looking cute."

"Lookingcutecanbeagoodthing." Jack said. Then he edged closer and said, "Y'knowyouareprettycute..." Jane looked scared, but then grabbed Jack's hat and stuffed it onto her head instead. "Hey!Whyd'youwantmehat,bich?" Jane looked insulted.

"Don't mind him. He gets this way when he's drunk. Try having him grab your ass in a pub. I'm used to it. You learn to ignore it."

"Anyou..." slurred Jack. "Quittryin'torui...roo...screwupallmefun."

"He's very...demanding." Jane mouthed to Angelina.

"You have no idea." Angelina mouthed back.

This was the beginning of a beautiful friendship between Angelina and Jane.

All of a sudden there was a crash from the other side of the deck and Elizabeth screamed and hid behind Will. "Pirates!"

"Elizabeth, we _are_ pirates."

"Arrg! Where be the captain of this ship?" A girl climbed over the side of the ship and walked menacingly down the deck.

Elizabeth was almost frantic with terror, she pointed to Jack.

The girl took one look at the drunken fool and said, "Where be the first mate, then?"

Angelina stepped forward and glowered at the girl. "I'm right here."

"YOU?" the girl yelled. "A girl as a first mate?!" She started laughing. "Is there something there?" She gestured between Jack and Angelina. "Women can only be captains or damsels!"

"Who says?"

"Have you ever heard of a girl first mate unless she's _with_ the captain?"

"Are you calling me a SLUT?!"

"I wasn't, but come ta think of it..."

"That's it!" Angelina drew her sword and charged at the girl.

The girl stepped to the side and Angelina went hurtling by. She looked back and said, "Ya know, you're as bad as he is?"

Jane stepped between the bloodthirsty Angelina and the girl and tried to make peace. She put on a Shakespearean accent and said, "Gentle Angelina, put thy rapier up!"

The girl started cracking up. Angelina saw this as a let down in the girl's guard and she charged.

It was Will that finally pulled the girls apart. "Who are you?" he asked the girl as he struggled to restrain Angelina.

The girl studied her sword nonchalantly and answered arrogantly "Kat Maxwell." She looked to see the reactions on everyone's faces. They were blank. Kat acted like they should be running in terror. No one moved. "Hellooo, I said I'm KAT MAXWELL."

"So?" Jane said.

"So?! SO?! I'm the most dreaded pirate in the Caribbean!"

A look of recognition dawned on Jack's face. "You-You'rethat...that..." Kat cocked her head, questioningly. "Youlookfamiliar...haveIthreatenedyoubefore?"

"No."

"Oh.Bedded,then?"

"NO!!"

"Hm,narrowsthatdownquiteabitthen.Howaboutsaved?"

"No."

"Seenatall?"

"No. No one sees when Kat Maxwell causes trouble."

"I'm seeing her now," Angelina whispered to Jane.

"What?"

"Nothing."

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Kat Maxwell made herself comfortable on the Pearl until finally, people accepted that she was on their voyage with them and she wasn't all that bad if one didn't get her angry. She and Angelina even began to get along and became very good friends.

"So I've noticed that Jane is obsessed with hats." Kat was very irritated with Jane and her showgirl attitude and the fact that she would break into a song at any minute. "What be your obsession?"

Angelina shrugged.

"Not even one thing?"

"Well, there are a couple of _teeny_ things..."

"Yes?"

"Well, Jack. Don't tell him that or he'll think I'm encouraging him to hit on me. And...Cher."

"What?"

"Not what, who."

"Who's Cher?"

Angelina's jaw dropped. "You haven't heard of CHER?!"

"Nope."

"Ya know...Gypsies, tramps, and thieves, we heard it from the people in the town..." Kat stared blankly. "Uh...how about Bang, bang! You shot me down! Bang, bang! I hit the ground! Bang, bang! That awful sound! Bang, bang! My baby shot me down..."

"I'd like to shoot you down right now."

"Fine. I can tell when Cher's not wanted."

"Good. We're on the same page."

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The next day, Jane was assigned to be the watch out. She climbed the rigging carrying a flu brush and wearing black with black makeup smudged on her face. She was singing. "Chim Chimeny, Chim Chimeny, chim chim cher-ee, a sweep is as lucky as lucky can be... Chim Chimeny chim chim cher-ee chim cher-ooooooooo!"

"Cher-oo!" A voice called. A girl swung down from the folds of the sails.

Jane screamed and almost fell out of the rigging.

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	3. Of Disney Villians and Mountain Dew

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Author's Note: Okies, I'm getting some more reception! Yey! There's still room on the crew, though! Please, please sign up! Also, like I said before: Any guys out there: sign up! That's an order! I'm almost to the point of bringing in the guys and Kat, Nariel, AnnaMariea, Milly, and anyone else from RM probably would be afraid of this fic. Heck, I'D be afraid of it!  
  
Kat Hope you like how you came in and immediately caused trouble! We still love ya though!  
AnnaMariea You're coming, I just didn't know enough of your bio to bring you in yet. Don't worry! It'll be this chapter!  
Lina Please, please send in your bio so I can put you in! You'll be hilarious! Also, Nariel and I were talking, how does it sound if you talked in third person? We thought it would be hilarious. ("Lina loves Will..." "Uh, OK" Edges away "Lina hates Elizabeth!" Stuffs her into a cannon LOL)  
Jane (Or Nariel, either way!) I hope you like how you always burst into song or acing, you'll be doing that a LOT. And your famous line will be coming in this chapter or the next!  
Milly I hope you're reading this because I just put you in for the heck of it. Tell me if you want your name changed and I'll change it. If you haven't guessed, you're just about the same as you are in real life! (Karamono Oh, goodness Shudders)  
Ciel-Undomiel Yey! I'm so glad you like my work! I like yours too! And like I said, please visit us at Random Musings, they'll all think you're great! Also, I'm working on my LOTR life guide for Aragorn! It'll probably be up when I get back from my trip!  
  
Author's Note #2: For those who don't know, like Ciel (I'll just call you that because it let's me type faster), Karamono is my muse. He shows up in other fics. Not this one. He might pop in on my author notes, though!  
  
Author's Note #3: I'll be gone from June 21 through July 11, so you guys'll just have to live without me. I know: It'll be hard. Is pelted with random objects for being so full of herself AHHHHHH! Sorries! I was kidding! Sheesh! Well, enjoy this chapter. I worked pretty hard to get it finished in one night. Be proud of me! That's an order, you scallywags!  
  
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Chapter 3: OF DISNEY VILLIANS AND MOUNTAIN DEW  
  
The girl grabbed Jane to stop her from falling. Jane was still screaming. "Shh! Stop screaming!" Jane didn't. The girl clamped her hand over Jane's mouth.  
  
Angelina and Jack had heard the screams and burst out of Jack's cabin where they had been discussing where to find Barbossa. Kat came up from raiding the kitchen and pulled a can out of her jacket. She popped it open and downed it, then threw it into the sea. "Jane! What's bothering you? I'm armed with a full can of Mountain Dew Code Red and NOTHING would want to face me after one of those!" Will and Elizabeth had been tanning on the deck and Elizabeth jumped into Will's arms, screaming too.  
  
The girl in the rigging looked down on the deck and waved. "HHHHHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Jack waved back, still a little drunk from the past day.  
  
Jane scrambled down out of the rigging and hid behind everyone else. The girl followed, but instead dropped down onto the deck with a "Tadaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!"  
  
Jack looked at her and raised his eyebrow. "And who are you?"  
  
"My name's Millimillete Belle Maceralmint Curtainhinge Annamacarena Ariel Valentinez Marilla La Luffy Seagull Kovu Zazu Cindy Minnie Wendy Alice Monkey Tigerlily Testerosa Dory Fiona Peep Nami Minerva Blythe White Jane" she took a breath. "What?" Jane asked upon hearing her name.  
  
The girl ignored her and continued. "Cri-kee Paco Kanga Zorro Poppins Darling Lady Meg Marian Dove Roronoa Dawning Scrumptious Rum"  
  
"Rum?" Jack perked up. "I like her. I'm keeping her."  
  
"Chidori Tigger Sagara Vash Cher Rhubarb Rosie Toto Energizer Wolf Heart Ringo Chickensalad Balzac Holmes Freud Ella Ring-thing Donkey Pelican Puss "she took a deep breath and ended elegantly "the 4th. Don't hesitate to call! Daughter of..."  
  
"NO!!!" Everyone shouted.  
  
The girl pouted.  
  
"OK, what did you just say?" Kat asked, really lost.  
  
"I think she said something about Cher." Angelina said happily.  
  
"I thought she was talking about me." Jane said.  
  
"Scrumptious Rum..." Jack said dreamily.  
  
"I just told you my name, but if you can't remember it, just choose one."  
  
Jane clasped her hands, tilted her face towards the sky and mouthed "Thank you."  
  
"But I can't remember any of them!"  
  
"How about calling me Puss?"  
  
"Okkkkayyyyyy, well, what talents do you have to help us besides a really long name, Puss?" Will asked, being the only one who was not confused thoroughly.  
  
"I'm a navigator. I have an impeccable sense of direction."  
  
"Gee, that couldn't help us at all..." Elizabeth said sarcastically.  
  
"And who is everyone here?" The girl asked.  
  
"I'm Angelina Sparrow and that's Jack Sparrow. And FYI, there is NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US." Angelina said Milly, but really directing it to Kat.  
  
Kat snorted in disagreement, but spoke up. "I'm Kat Maxwell, most dreaded pirate in the Caribbean."  
  
"Really? Cool!"  
  
"I'm Elizabeth and this is my husband Will."  
  
"Ah, honeymoon?"  
  
"Not quite..." Elizabeth said.  
  
"I'm Finch, Jane Finch. And I totally did not mean to say that in a Bond, James Bond kind of way!"  
  
"Well, I guess we'll need a navigator as soon as we can get her. Uh, exactly how good are you?" said Angelina.  
  
"I can tell a storm coming from forty two knots away." Milly said proudly. "I'm working towards forty three."  
  
"Big dreams, huh?" Kat said haughtily.  
  
"For your information...uh, what was I talking about?"  
  
"I rest my case." Kat said proudly.  
  
"Let's celebrate my crewmanship!" Milly shouted.  
  
"Drinks all around!" Jack yelled happily.  
  
Bottles of rum were passed around. After about two each, Elizabeth and Will were acting all cuddly and smoochy, Jack and Angelina were starting in on the third round of a pirate's life, Jane was acting even more ditzy than she usually was, Kat had a happy buzz, and Milly was completely unaffected.  
  
After three bottles, Elizabeth and Will had left saying something about doing each other's hair, Jack was hitting on Angelina and she wasn't protesting too much, Jane had gone through her hat trunks twice, reciting lines that went with each hat, Kat was trying to steer a door handle thinking it was the ship's wheel, and Milly was still unaffected.  
  
Jack, his arm around Angelina, reached for another bottle. Milly grabbed it away. "I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to cut you off."  
  
"Bu-but...the rum..."  
  
"Nope, you've had waaaay too much. If Angelina were sober, she would be repulsed by you. But she's not. But still, you're done."  
  
Jack pouted.  
  
"Hello?" a voice came from over the side of the ship. It snapped Angelina and Kat back to reality.  
  
"JACK!!" The entirety of the ship members on the deck fell silent and looked at Angelina. Jack smiled and waved and Angelina stormed off to where Milly was. Jack snapped his fingers in dismay. Kat slid next to him with a flirty smile on her face.  
  
"Hi, Jack..."  
  
"Do I know you?"  
  
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The girl, it turned out had been ambushed and was the sole survivor of the attack. Milly and Angelina hoisted her on board and the girl looked around.  
  
"This is a nice boat...I mean ship."  
  
"Who are you?" Angelina asked.  
  
"I'm AnnaMariea."  
  
Jack quickly took his arm from around Kat's shoulders and turned. "Anne!"  
  
"Do I know you?"  
  
"Oh," Jack said, realizing that it wasn't his Annamaria. He went back to Kat, who was smiling smugly.  
  
Angelina looked the girl over. She was dressed in pirate garb and seened to have a good notion of the sea.  
  
"Are you a pirate?"  
  
"Yes." She emphasized her point with an "Arrg."  
  
"Right."  
  
"Uh, you're not in league with Barbossa, sent to lure us to his ship so he can dispose of our bodies in morbid ways with a sharp sword are you?" asked Jane.  
  
"No, not that I know of." said AnnaMariea.  
  
"Good." Jane went back to her hats.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, we're going off to kill Barbossa once and for all since he seemed to escape death twice with the aid of enormous, unbelievable plot twists that are reminiscent of Disney movies." Angelina said bluntly.  
  
"Hey! Watch what you say about Disney!" Milly warned.  
  
"Sounds good to me." AnnaMariea said.  
  
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The next day, Jane was sent back up to do watch duty. It only took everyone aboard coaxing her and telling her that there were not going to be any more girls flying out of the air yelling "Cher-oo!!". Once up, she spotted a ship. "Ship ahoy!" she yelled.  
  
"What kind of ship?" called Will.  
  
"Well, it has black flags and looks to be crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out!" Jane yelled back.  
  
"You can tell all that from looking?"  
  
"Well, that's what it seems to me."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because no ship with black sails that's not crewed by the damned and captained by a man so evil that Hell itself spat him back out can possibly be anything other than Barbossa's ship."  
  
"What did you just say? I got lost."  
  
"She said that it be my ship coming." Barbossa's voice said into Will's ear.  
  
Will looked over his shoulder and saw Barbossa standing behind him with his ship and entire crew behind him. "Should've asked how far it was, shouldn't ye?  
  
Will screamed and ran away.  
  
"Always was a jumpy one, wasn't he?" Barbossa said to his crew.  
  
"Barbossa..."  
  
"Jack..."  
  
"Barbossa..."  
  
"Elizabeth..."  
  
"Jane," Jane said, then gestured to everyone else in turn "Kat, Angelina, Milly, AnnaMariea, Will. Great, now that we all know each other...get off of our boat!"  
  
"Ship." Kat whispered to her.  
  
"Ship, then!"  
  
"No." Barbossa said flatly.  
  
A fray followed to end all frays. Everyone on Jack's ship tried to stay together and fight, but Angelina and Jack ended up getting separated from the rest. They were captured and taken to the hold in Barbossa's ship.  
  
"Don't blame yourself, Anne." Jack said, clapping her on the back.  
  
"Oh, I don't. I blame YOU!"  
  
"Me?"  
  
"Yes, if you hadn't have had to do those fancy sword fighting moves and had to have me protect you while you figured one out, then we wouldn't have gotten separated!"  
  
"Oh, you do have a point there."  
  
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Later, the prisoners were brought before Barbossa and thrown at his feet. He smiled genially, like a cat playing with a mouse before he ate it. "Well, well, well, if it isn't Mr. Jack Sparrow..."  
  
"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack insisted.  
  
"Mr. Captain Jack Sparrow, then. And who is this lovely lady with you?" He asked, grabbing Angelina's chin and tilting her head up to see her face.  
  
"I'm Angelina, Angelina Sparrow."  
  
"Ah, settled down at last, Jack, me boy?"  
  
"No, uh...she's a...distant cousin of my aunt's nephew...twice removed. Lovely singing voice, though."  
  
Angelina snorted in laughter and Barbossa pushed her face away.  
  
"Well, Jack, here ye be at my mercy – again. Hm, what shall we make ye do this time?"  
  
Angelina and Jack looked at each other and Angelina raised her eyebrow. Jack shook his head.  
  
Barbossa took out a knife from his boot and held it up. He grabbed Angelina's face again and held it to her throat. She struggled with the bonds on her hands. Barbossa laughed and cut them. "There ye be, little missy." He said as he pulled her face closer and kissed her lips. He let go and she spat and wiped her mouth with her sleeve. Barbossa laughed again. "Get used to it, little one. It's a pirate ship."  
  
He cut Jack's bonds and Jack looked warily at him and scooted away.  
  
"Well, well, let's see..." He thought. "I know. Entertain me. Uh, sing for me or something."  
  
"What?!" Angelina cried.  
  
"You know, la la la..." Jack helped.  
  
"I bloody know what singing is, but sing? For him? Now?"  
  
"That be the general idea, missy."  
  
She glared at Barbossa.  
  
"Well, are ye going to sing or will I have to end my fun and make ye walk the plank again?"  
  
They decided to sing. A lá Zazu in the Lion King.  
  
"No-body kno-ws the tro-uble I've se-en, no-body kno-ws my sor-row..." Barbossa cut them off.  
  
"Oh, lighten up, sing something with a little...bounce in it."  
  
"It's a small world after all, it's a small world after all, it's a..."  
  
"No! Not that, not that. Anything but that."  
  
Angelina stood up and belted out, "I was born in the wagon of a travelin' show, mamma had to dance for the money they'd throw, papa'd do whatever he could. Preach a little gospel; sell a couple bottles of doctor good. Gypsies, tramps, and thieves! We'd hear it from the people in the town, they'd call us gyp-"she was really getting into it, doing a half-belly dance and trying to act out parts of the song...  
  
"NO!" Both Jack and Barbossa shouted. Angelina plopped back down on the ground and pouted.  
  
"Sing...I don't know...a sea shanty!"  
  
Angelina looked at Jack, Jack looked at Angelina. And with evil smiles, they looked at Barbossa. They both drew deep breaths and started with an "Oh-----"that crescendoed, was off-key, and lasted for ten seconds. "Oh---- ----------- a pirate's life is the life for me. De da la da da da da da da da. Cause I never, never, never, never care about the weather, cause the weather never ever does a thing for me!" They hummed the tune and did a little jig to it, then started another round faster. Barbossa was enjoying this, conducting them with a chicken bone. But, five minutes later, it was getting old.  
  
If five minutes of this annoyed Barbossa, ten made him want to kill them. Still, five minutes after that, they were still going, up to a speed that basically sounded like one word to a bunch of notes.  
  
"OhapirateslifeisthelifeformeDedaladadadadadadadaCauseIneverneverneverneverc areabouttheweathercausetheweathernevereverdoesathingforme!"  
  
"Stop singing!" Barbossa yelled, hands still covering his ears. "Back to the hold!"  
  
And so they were packaged back off to the hold, laughing all the way.  
  
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Back on the Pearl, Jane was worried sick about Jack and Angelina, Milly was positioning the ship to follow Barbossa, AnnaMariea was manning the rigging since Jane had been incapacitated with fear, Will and Elizabeth were "Fixing" each other's hair after the fight, and Kat was barking orders, but secretly worrying if jack would be hitting on Angelina too much. She worried uselessly.  
  
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"Heeeey, how did you end up down here doing the dirty work? You're too pretty to do that..."  
  
"Angelina, that won't get them to open the door."  
  
She shrugged. "It's worth a try." She had arranged her pirate clothing to look as suggestive as she could and was hanging off the bars similar to the girls in Chicago.  
  
Jack just shook his head.  
  
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Later that night a man snuck down into the hold and lit a lamp. Angelina woke up to the light and crawled to the bars. "Wh-"the man put a finger to his lips. She lowered her voice. "What are you doing?"  
  
"Well, Barbossa can't expect you to live on nothing. I brought some of the leftovers from dinner down."  
  
"Why? You're on his crew?"  
  
"Because...because...just because. Now, eat and I'll see what I can get from the next meals. The cook is a friend of mine."  
  
"Bu-"  
  
"Eat." whispered the man firmly.  
  
Angelina moved closer to the bars. The man did too. He smiled at her lopsidedly. "I haven't felt this way for a long time."  
  
"Neither have I," she said breathlessly.  
  
They kissed.  
  
"Angelina? Angelina! Angelina wake up!"  
  
"Huh, what?"  
  
"You were kissing me."  
  
"What?!"  
  
"You must have been dreaming."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"Or maybe you meant to do it..."  
  
Angelina smacked Jack. Hard. Then she laid back down.  
  
Jack looked at her. "Goodnight to you too." He moved to the farthest end of the cell and lay down.  
  
Angelina thought about how hot that man in her dream had been and cursed Jack for waking her up, although, she had been kissing him. Angelina was obsessed with Jack, but not like that. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------  
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	4. Gentlemanlike Torture

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Author's Note: I'm baaaa-aaack! I'm home from my trip to England, Ireland and Wales and since back I have been bombarded with requests – actually, no, they were more like threats with my life – for me to write another chapter NOW. I hope you're happy. I even made it longer for you guys. You're spoiled, ya know that?  
  
Author's Note #2: I have to add three more characters, possibly more. So bear with all of the new stuff, you'll be very confused also about some jokes, let me know and I'll explain. I even put in the "Si" and "Mui bien" thing in there, Rachel and Kellyn! Also, Gem and Allandri and the Coloradoans need to send me bios because it's not a fic without you! Please?! I can't force you, but I can beg!!  
  
Author's Note #3: Be patient, people who want to email me, I'm getting a new address and can't really take any mail right now. Sorries! Is pelted with random objects Ow! Squeak  
  
Author's Note #4: I need more guys still! Don't worry; you won't be tortured too much! I only have one now, that's Marduk. I think I'll put Dragonfire in it just for the hell of it. Kat has a laughing spasm Angelina whaps Kat on the head  
  
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CHAPTER 4: GENTLEMAN-LIKE TORTURE  
  
"Five O'clock and all is weh-eell!" Jane called from the mast. AnnaMariea sat bolt upright in bed and glared around her cabin. Things, i.e., chairs, desks, tables, priceless china, sharp unsheathed swords and daggers, were flying across the room. They had been in this storm for a day and a half and Jane had been yelling that every hour on the hour. AnnaMariea was going to kill someone soon.  
  
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Angelina sat up with another crack of lightning. She turned to Jack who was sitting up as well. He looked utterly disgruntled and otherwise very annoyed.  
  
"This bloody ship leaks." He said flatly.  
  
"I'm afraid it's going to fall apart with every loud noise." Angelina put in.  
  
"In other words...."  
  
"It shouldn't be too hard to escape from." Angelina finished.  
  
"Well, I was thinking more along the lines of the taking over approach, but escaping sounds good too."  
  
"Oh, you'll be going? So soon? Pity." Angelina and Jack looked through the darkness towards the sound of the voice. A tall, neatly - well as neatly as could be on a pirate ship in the rain - dressed man lit a candle and held it by his face. "But, I guess you'll need help since you easily throw around insults about which you have little or no knowledge prior to the words leaving your wretched mouths."  
  
"Was that an insult?" Jack asked.  
  
"I think so," Angelina whispered.  
  
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"Five O'clock and all is weh-eel!"  
  
"That's it." AnnaMariea said under her breath. She got out of bed and just about knocked her door down opening it. Lightning flashed over her like in one of those horror movies when the villain is coming and, miraculously, the lightning flashes at just the right time. She stalked to the mast and climbed it. Once up behind Jane, she put her hands around her neck and started shaking her. Jane started screaming.  
  
Kat and Puss burst out of their cabins and ran to the mast. They both climbed the rigging and grabbed AnnaMariea and pulled her off Jane. She was brought to the deck and her hands bound.  
  
Jane was scarred and kept looking around and feeling her neck apprehensively.  
  
Kat addressed AnnaMariea. "WHAT was THAT for?!"  
  
"She woke me up."  
  
"So?! You try being out there at 5 am in a storm!"  
  
"I'm used to it."  
  
"What?"  
  
"Strangling things that wake me up."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I lived on a farm before running away to become a pirate. When the roosters crowed, I would go out and ring their necks."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"Then we'd have chicken for dinner."  
  
"..."  
  
"..."  
  
"YOU WERE GOING TO EAT ME?!" Jane screamed.  
  
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"Lina wants Will..." A girl-shaped shadow whispered as she climbed up the Pearl's side towards the porthole of Will and Elizabeth's room.  
  
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"Ok, let me get this straight...you're on Barbossa's crew, and yet you want to help us?!"  
  
"Only because I want to commit mutiny to Barbossa, but no one else will help."  
  
"Still..." Angelina trailed off, confused.  
  
"It seems all fine and dandy to me." Jack said. "Any port in a storm."  
  
"Now, do we have a deal?" The man asked, holding out his hand.  
  
"Accord." Said Jack, shaking his hand.  
  
"But...we don't even know your name!"  
  
"Oh, I beg your pardon, miss. My name is Jesse D. James."  
  
Against her will, Angelina felt herself bursting into song. It was coming...she couldn't stop it... "Just like Jesse Ja-ames!"  
  
Jack smiled apologetically and slapped a hand over Angelina's mouth.  
  
Does she have a...mental problem? Jesse mouthed to Jack.  
  
No, just a large Cher obsession.  
  
Who?  
  
Nevermind. Jack shook his head.  
  
Angelina noticed and stopped humming. "Wpat? Whr oo chaing oor ed?" She asked through Jack's hand.  
  
"What did she say?" Jesse asked.  
  
Jack took his hand off her mouth. "Why were you shaking your head?" She asked Jack again.  
  
Jack shook his head.  
  
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Meanwhile, the shadowy girl had entered Will and Elizabeth's room. "Lina hates Elizabeth..." She crept towards the bed and stood over Elizabeth. Again, reminiscent of horror movies, lightning struck, Elizabeth's eyes shot open, and she screamed bloody murder.  
  
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Kat, Puss, Jane and AnnaMariea heard the screams and forgot all about AnnaMariea's habits towards chickens and ran to Elizabeth and Will's cabin. They burst into the room armed with anything they could find, like the Hobbits in The Fellowship of the Ring. Then they all fell silent in confusion. Will was tied and curled up on the bed and Elizabeth was bound and gagged in a corner. A girl dressed in dark colors was perched happily on the bed, petting Will's hair, seeming very proud of herself. She was even more of a curiosity because she had hair that looked like Jack's hair and purple dye had exploded in the same room and combined to form it. And yet, it looked to be very well kept and wasn't a mess from the storm. She also had one purple eye and one metallic blue one.  
  
"What the..." Kat started.  
  
The girl answered Kat and everyone else's unanswered question. "Lina loves Will, hates Elizabeth."  
  
Four jaws dropped to the floor.  
  
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Jack, Angelina, and Jesse crept up to the deck and found a little boat used for scouting. They silently lowered it into the water. Jesse gave Jack a leg up onto the side of the ship and Jack lowered himself into the boat. Jesse held out his hand to help Angelina, but she brushed it away. "That's what I became a pirate to get away from. Men thinking I'm too stupid or fragile to do things myself." Jesse put his hands up in mock surrender and backed away. Angelina jumped onto the side and lowered herself into the boat, batting away Jack's help as well. Jesse climbed up onto the side and was ready to come down, but four hands pulled him off the precarious perch and threw him onto the deck.  
  
Two girls stood over him, one tall with bushy brown hair, the other short with blonde hair plaited into two braids. Both were wearing dresses kind of like Elizabeth had been given by Barbossa.  
  
"Where do you think you're going?" The tall one asked.  
  
Jesse, who had been stiff, thinking it was Barbossa, let out his breath and rolled his eyes, "Orla, Gabriel, don't do that!"  
  
"Why?" Orla asked haughtily.  
  
"Were you afraid we were the captain?" Asked Gabriel in a sing-song voice.  
  
"Yes. Now scat!"  
  
"Why should we?"  
  
"I'll leave Barbossa a pretty note that you two were out after curfew."  
  
"You wouldn't!" Orla whispered shrilly.  
  
"I would."  
  
Jesse stood up and shooed at them with his hands. They stepped back just enough to avoid them and giggled like little girls.  
  
"Who was that girl?"  
  
"Was she the one that the captain wanted?"  
  
"I heard he was going to go down to the hold and-"Jesse slapped a hand over Orla's mouth.  
  
Jesse heard a muffled shriek from below the ship. Then a scuffle and then he heard, "WHAT?!"  
  
The two girls giggled.  
  
Angelina started climbing the rope and Jack tried to stop her. With both standing up, the boat started rocking and tipped over. Angelina was gone up the rope and Jack was spilled over the boat, cursing.  
  
Jesse, Orla, and Gabriel looked over the side and the two girls started giggling again.  
  
"WHAT was the captain going to do?!" Angelina whispered menacingly.  
  
"You know what all captains do with the women..."  
  
"'Cept us," Gabriel put in. "We're too smart. We make him hate us."  
  
"Yep." Orla nodded proudly. "He just keeps us on board because he's too nice to throw us overboard."  
  
"Well, actually, I think we're entertainment for him because he likes to watch us annoy the pirates."  
  
"That too."  
  
"Si."  
  
"Mui bien!"  
  
Angelina was stuck on the captain thing still. "OK, we are leaving RIGHT NOW. I don't want to become some captain's whore!"  
  
"You were sure going to become the whore of any of these pirates cleaning down in the hold that would let you out." Jack stated matter of factly, climbing, dripping wet, back into the boat.  
  
"That was a completely different situation! I would have killed them after I got out."  
  
"And how would you have done that?"  
  
"Jack, shut up."  
  
"I'm just asking." He shrugged.  
  
Gabriel and Orla broke into giggles again. "Maybe you already are a captain's whore! Or wife! You two fight like a married couple!" Orla laughed.  
  
Jack and Angelina looked at each other and slowly moved away, which was hard with Angelina being on a rope and Jack inside a boat.  
  
"THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN US!!!!!!!" Angelina screamed.  
  
All of Angelina's yelling must have woken Barbossa, because a light went on in the captain's cabin. The five looked at each other and decided unanimously to put aside all differences and get out of there. Angelina climbed back into the boat, actually letting Jack help her, Jesse, Orla, and Gabriel lowered themselves into the boat and they slipped away into the night.  
  
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The boat carrying Jack, Angelina, Jesse, Orla, and Gabriel slid into position beside the Pearl and Jack threw up a rope and hook. The hook held and they all clambered onto the deck of the Pearl. Jack immediately dropped to his knees and began kissing the deck.  
  
Kat, Puss, Jane, AnnaMariea, and Lina came out to see what the noise was and were happy to see Angelina and Jack, but confused to see Jesse, Gabriel, and Orla.  
  
Orla and Gabriel introduced themselves with curtsies.  
  
"I'm Orla! Wheeeeee!"  
  
"Don't mind her, she makes random odd noises." Jesse said.  
  
"And I'm Gabriel Beck, but call me Gab or Gabby. Jesse won't. He's too much of a gentleman to call anyone a nickname." She put a haughty and somewhat prissy stress on "gentleman".  
  
"As you can tell from these two, my name is Jesse D. James." he bowed with a flourish.  
  
"I like your cape." Kat said. "I'm Kat Maxwell. Most feared pirate in the Caribbean."  
  
"Ah, I see."  
  
"I'm AnnaMariea. I like chicken."  
  
Orla giggled.  
  
"I'm Finch, Jane Finch. And I totally do not mean to keep saying my name in a Bond, James Bond kind of way!"  
  
"I'm..." Puss started.  
  
"NO!" everyone who had been unfortunate to have to hear her whole name yelled.  
  
"I'm Puss."  
  
Orla and Gabriel started laughing hysterically. "No, you're not."  
  
"Yes, that's my name."  
  
"No it's not trust me." said Orla.  
  
"Si." Gabriel agreed.  
  
"Mui bien!"  
  
"She's Rum!" Jack shouted.  
  
"Good. Change it to Rum, NOW." Gabriel said.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"We lived in England. Trust me."  
  
"Okaaaaay. Fine. I guess."  
  
"And who is this?" Asked Angelina, pointing to Lina.  
  
"I'm Lina."  
  
"Hello, how did you get here?"  
  
"Lina loves Will. Hates Elizabeth."  
  
"Right. I'll remember that."  
  
Jane had been grinning the whole time, having a hard time controlling her happiness. Angelina and Jack were back! And they were safe. But Jane was mad because they had been stupid enough to get caught in the first place. "How did you get caught?!"  
  
"Jack had to do some fancy sword moves, so we lost you." Angelina explained.  
  
"NO!" Jane protested. "YOU lost US!"  
  
"Didn't I just say that?"  
  
There was a confused silence, then a muffled scream from Will and Elizabeth's cabin.  
  
"What was that?" Jesse asked.  
  
He was answered with a "Lina loves Will, hates Elizabeth."  
  
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	5. Mysterious Pirates and Water Glasses

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Author's Note: Here I am again! Ya know what? Like I said before, you people are spoiled. Here I sit, writing another chapter before the other one has been out for even a half a day! Sheesh! Ah well, I guess I love writing it as much as you love reading it! (Don't I have a big head? I don't believe myself!)  
  
Author's Note #2: I know you haven't had much time between my last chapter and this one, but like I said: Guys and Coloradoans, bios please!  
  
Author's Note #3: I'm not quite sure where this is going. I know it'll be them killing Barbossa most likely, but I don't know what else. I'm just having fun making it up as I go, so bear with the long amounts of chapters that may follow. Also, there might be a...DUN DUN DUN...Sequel! Random screams of horror I just can't help it! It might have more of a storyline, though!  
  
Author's Note #4: Please tell me if you want something altered about your character. I know Kat, Kat Maxwell needs to be more annoying. I have to work on personalities when everyone has been introduced. Lina, I know all you said last time was "Lina loves Will, hates Elizabeth". Trust me, you'll say more. I just found it funny. Also, AnnaMariea, you didn't specify where you ran away from when I looked, so you lived on a farm. It fit, what can I say?  
  
Author's Note #5: If you have any ideas for incidents, events, lines, character quirks, plots, etc..., please let me know! I don't want to dictate things no one likes or funds funny but me! I want input and other people's ideas, that way it'll last longer!  
  
Author's Note #6: Since I have temporary writer's block, I'm gonna clear up who is who and who has what quirks on my ship! Yey! .  
  
Angelina Sparrow Me, Glorindiel, of course! Likes Cher, Jack, Talking loudly, and that guy in her dream Quirks: Sings Cher songs very loudly, thinks acting provocative will get her what she wants, and acts like a female version of Jack  
  
AnnaMariea Jackie, Kaguya Likes wringing chickens' necks, pirating, what else, Jackie?? Quirks: Help Jackie!!  
  
Gabriel Beck Kellyn Likes to dance and David Beckham Quirks: Dances, speaks Spanish, tells the time of day randomly, and almost looses it when someone mentions David Beckham  
  
Jane Finch Nariel, Krista Likes Jack's hat and acting Quirks: Will act out any scene from anything anytime  
  
Jesse D. James Marduk, Jesse Likes being a gentleman and anything else?? Quirks: Has a thing about keeping water glasses filled at the table  
  
Kat Maxwell Kat, Mith Likes giving nicknames (Which I promise will turn up later, don't think I totally blew that off!), Jesse's cape, and Jack Quirks: Gives weird nicknames and is very possessive of Jack  
  
Lina Lina, Silivrenmacil Likes Will and feet Quirks: Speaks in third person, is obsessed with feet, has one purple eye and one metallic blue eye, and has purple hair with lighter streaks and dreadlocks and braids  
  
Orla Rachel Likes David Beckham, England football team, annoying Jesse Quirks: Makes random weird noises, acts like a crazy crack head child, is in the David Beckham club with Gabriel  
  
Rum (Formerly known as Puss) Milly, Sheila Likes Disney, singing and reciting her name Quirks: Has extremely long name, gets drunk off of water, not alcohol, sings randomly, and can tell a storm coming for at least forty two knots away  
  
OK, hopefully my writer's block is gone! Yeah, definitely! I've just talked to Lina and Kat and I have some ideas! Evil cackle Rubs hands together manically  
  
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CHAPTER 5: MYSTERIOUS PIRATES AND WATER GLASSES  
  
Elizabeth was found in a closet and let out and untied. Will was untied and kept far from Lina. Elizabeth was so disoriented that she decided that they needed to have a dinner party...Dramatic music from movies DUN DUN DUN!  
  
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"Alright ladies, I want to see everyone's outfits for my lovely dinner party!" Elizabeth demanded to the girls staring at her like she was nuts. All except for Gabriel and Orla were dressed in pirate garb. Angelina's was a little disheveled-looking because they never went quite back to normal after her little Chicago act. Elizabeth clicked her tongue and managed to look angry while maintaining a graceful air. "Those won't do! We'll have to completely redress you all!"  
  
"She's gone insane." Kat whispered to Rum.  
  
"And it's all thanks to Lina." Rum whispered back.  
  
"What? Lina heard her name!"  
  
"Nothing." Kat said.  
  
"I wonder what hat I should wear..." Jane mused.  
  
Gabriel and Orla weren't even paying attention, discussing the England football team's season so far.  
  
AnnaMariea was busy trying to hide behind the curtains and Angelina was grudgingly being measured by Elizabeth.  
  
"I think this would fit you if we took it in in the bosom," Elizabeth mused with a chuckle, holding up the dress her father had given her for Commodore Norrington's promotion assembly.  
  
Angelina looked outraged. "WHAT?!" Gabriel and Orla giggled. Kat, Rum, and Jane reached for Angelina to restrain her. "WHAT do you mean by THAT?!"  
  
Elizabeth was still laughing at her own joke. "Oh nothing."  
  
"Pfft. It BETTER be nothing." Angelina pouted as Elizabeth finished her alterations.  
  
"There! We didn't even have to make any changes! Let's see it on you!" Before Angelina could protest, Elizabeth had trapped her in a corset and was lacing it tight. "Now, now, don't be...Tug...stubborn...Tug tug...it needs to...Tug...fit...Tug...tight!"  
  
Angelina was turning blue and gasping for air.  
  
"Now we'll put the dress on! See! Fits like a dream! Go see how you look." Angelina stumbled to the mirror and just about screamed.  
  
"I'm in a dress! Gasp for oxygen You know how much I am gonna kill you when I get out of this?! Gaaaaaaaaaassssssssssssp When I can breathe, you're going down!" She stormed out of the room.  
  
Elizabeth reached for Lina next. Lina bit her. Elizabeth looked horrified, and then moved on, pretending nothing had happened. "Now, Gabriel and Orla...your dresses remind me of something..."  
  
"Let me guess...the one Barbossa gave you?"  
  
"Yes! How did you know?"  
  
"Experience."  
  
"Well, anyway, you're good except I think I can get those stains out, and then they'll look marvelous." She pulled out a stain brush and started whirring away at those stains. They came out, miraculously. "There. Stain brushes are gifts from God. Anyone want a lesson?" Gabriel snatched the brush from Elizabeth's hand. "Hey!"  
  
"You missed a spot." Gabriel said, and ran out of the room to stash the brush away. Orla followed, giggling.  
  
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Angelina stood at the hull, looking over, gasping away. Then, pretty much exactly like in Pirates of the Caribbean, she fainted over the side of the Pearl. She fell past the porthole in which Jack, Will and Jesse were playing Egyptian Rat Screw (It's a card game. Rachel and Kellyn would know.).  
  
"Did that look like Elizabeth falling past there?" Jack asked.  
  
"Nah," said Will. "She'd be screaming. That was probably a seagull that flew into the mast."  
  
"And you know how monstrous those birds can get." Jesse added.  
  
"Oh, OK." Jack said and they resumed playing.  
  
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Angelina fell into the sea and started sinking. Imagine in all those movies with slow motion drowning, the hand floating up, now you have the picture in perfect focus. After an agonizingly long time – as usual – a hand shot down and grasped the delicate hand still floating up. Angelina's head broke the surface. Her savior started swimming for the ship.  
  
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Elizabeth had finally gotten everyone dressed and ready. Now she needed food. AnnaMariea was a good cook, so she volunteered – or rather, was forced to volunteer – to make dinner.  
  
The table was set and everyone was sat down, according to Elizabeth's plan. No one noticed Angelina's empty seat.  
  
Jesse took all of the napkins out of everyone's glass and set them in their laps. A few girls eyed him nervously. He then proceeded to fill every water glass. A few thanked him. He smiled and sat back satisfied.  
  
The food was dished up and everyone began to eat. Kat was the first person to take a drink. She turned away from the half full glass to talk to Rum. Jesse immediately grabbed the pitcher and refilled Kat's glass. Kat turned around and choked on the bread she had just put in her mouth. After coughing and then getting it down, she burst out, "Was...wasn...I'm going crazy...Wasn't that glass almost empty?"  
  
Gabriel and Orla started laughing hysterically.  
  
"WHAT??" Kat demanded.  
  
"Jesse has a thing about glasses. They have to be full at all times."  
  
"Okkkkkay."  
  
"You'll get used to it."  
  
"That's kind of creepy." Rum whispered.  
  
"It's gentleman-like." piped Jane.  
  
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Angelina's eyes fluttered and she found herself moving through the water. A man was pulling her along. All she could see was black hair. He reminded her of that pirate in her dream.  
  
Water splashed into her nose again and she began coughing, gasping for breath, and then passed out again.  
  
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There was a thud up on deck, like someone jumping over the side, except louder. Jack, Will and Jesse got up to see what it was. Jack and Will left and Jesse started to follow, but noticed that Elizabeth's glass wasn't full. He ran back to the table, filled it, and then left after the other two.  
  
Being on deck first, Jack was the first to see a man bending over something. He called to him and the man looked back. He got up, holding Angelina's hand. He then left, letting the hand slip slowly out of his. He tipped his hat and was gone over the side of the ship.  
  
Jack ran to the figure lying on the deck. Will and Jesse followed.  
  
"She's not breathing," Jesse observed.  
  
"Thank you Captain Obvious." Will said, panicking. He didn't like damsel in distress situations. They unnerved him.  
  
Jack pulled out a knife, ripped the dress down the front, and then sliced the strings on the corset.  
  
Angelina coughed and gasped for breath.  
  
"Never would have thought of that." Jesse confessed.  
  
"Clearly you've never been to Singapore." Jack stated.  
  
Jane came up on deck and helped Angelina sit up. Kat, AnnaMariea, Rum, Orla, Gabriel, Lina, and Elizabeth followed.  
  
"Who was that?" Angelina asked.  
  
"Hellooooooo. I'm Jack." Jack said, putting his hand out to shake hers.  
  
"Not you. The one who's...not here."  
  
"Hmm...maybe no one?" Jack said sarcastically.  
  
"Someone shoot him." Angelina said.  
  
Jack backed away. "Fine. I forfeit."  
  
"I don't know who it was. What did he look like?"  
  
"I didn't see anything except for the black hair."  
  
"Well, that doesn't give much to work with. And I've been around these waters more than you have." Elizabeth said.  
  
"Oh, well. I think I'll go put on my pirate clothes. I can BREATHE in them."  
  
"You have to sacrifice things for fashion!" Elizabeth shouted.  
  
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Then next day, things were pretty much back to normal. A sail had ripped in the wind and Jane was trying to mend it. She had a thimble on each finger and was attempting to thread the needle.  
  
Angelina came up on deck, looking cheerful.  
  
AnnaMariea had decided that she really like cooking for the crew and was making breakfast. It was by Orla and Gabriel's request: a traditional English breakfast.  
  
Jane looked up at Angelina, "Sleep good?"  
  
"Yep." Angelina said, smiling broader.  
  
"Should I be frightened?"  
  
"Nope. I'm just happy."  
  
"Why? You almost drowned yesterday!"  
  
"But I had a good dream last night."  
  
"OK." Jane shrugged. "I guess if a dream makes you forget reality, whatever floats your boat."  
  
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Flashback to the Past Night  
  
It was storming. Angelina was in the rigging and the sail ripped, flying back and smacking her in the face. She fell off the rope. She felt her plummet broken by someone. She turned back and it was that man from her dream and the one that had saved her from drowning!  
  
He smiled lopsidedly again. Then, he turned away and lowered them both back to the deck, where he turned to her and embraced her.  
  
"How will I ever pay you back for saving me so much?"  
  
"I don't need much in return."  
  
"But what do you want?"  
  
"This." He kissed her.  
  
"Angelina! Angelina, for the sake of all that is good and holy, wake up!"  
  
Angelina opened her eyes and found herself staring at Jack.  
  
He looked down and resisted the urge to smack her.  
  
"Angelina, what were you dreaming about?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"You fell out of your hammock and then latched onto my leg and kissed it when I came in to see what happened."  
  
"WHAT?!"  
  
"I think you need something to be done about those dreams of yours. Who knows WHAT it is you're dreaming about." Jack left Angelina still lying on the floor looking up at the ceiling. She cursed him again for waking her up.  
  
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	6. Ferrets, Speed, and Double Trouble

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Author's Note: I'm back! It might be Monday before my next chapter. Sigh Some time to actually think! Yey! Actually, I might have to write two new chapters over the weekend, but I'm going to take the weekend off from putting them up. Don't worry, I'll be back and blooming come Monday! Don't ask where I got that...  
  
Author's Note #2: I've started reading Hamlet by who else? ...Flourish William Shakespeare. Don't be frightened if Jane becomes a little more versed in Shakespeare than you think she is. Also, she might just have to recite Hamlet's "To be or not to be..." soliloquy, but changed, of course. Also, be warned I love the Queen Mab speech Mercutio makes in Romeo and Juliet, that might pop in too!   
  
Author's Note #3: The new character Sarah is not Skittlez, for those on Random Musings. She's from Yes, Sarah, I got you in!  
  
Author's Note #4: I know the last chapter was a little low on plot, but I had to establish a new character. Kat and Lina laugh hysterically Don't have an aneurism, you two! Angelina whaps them on the heads Also, one thing to get straight, Angelina is not a damsel-in-distress type, again, establishment of a new character.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the base material for Jane's speeches, that's all Will Shakespeare's. He's a buddy of mine, been dead for a while TearSnuffle, but he was a good playwright. Don't insult him on my watch, or I shall have at thee.  
  
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CHAPTER 6: FERRETS, SPEED, AND DOUBLE TROUBLE  
  
Angelina came back to reality after she finished envisioning her dream. Jane was laughing.  
  
"O, Then I see Queen Mab hath been with you. She is the fairies' midwife, and she comes In shape no bigger than an agate stone, On the forefinger of an alderman, Drawn with a team of little atomies O'er men's noses as they lie asleep; Her wagon spokes made of long spinners' legs, The cover, of the wings of grasshoppers; Her traces, of the smallest spider's web; Her collars, of the moonshine's wat'ry beams; Her whip, of cricket's bone; the lash, of film; Her wagoner, a small grey-coated gnat; Not half so big as a round little worm Pricked from the lazy finger of a maid; Her chariot is an empty hazelnut, Made by the joiner squirrel or old grub, Time out o' mind the fairies' coachmakers. And in this state she gallops night by night Through lovers' brains, and then they dream of love; O'er courtiers' knees, that dream on curtsies straight; O'er barmen's fingers, who straight dream on fees; O'er ladies' lips that straight on kisses dream, Which oft the angry Mab with blisters plagues, Because their breaths with sweetmeats tainted are. Sometimes she gallops o'er a commodore's nose, And then dreams he of smelling out a suit; And sometimes comes she with a small pig's tail, Tickling one Gibbs' nose as 'a lies asleep, Then dreams he of another benefice. Sometimes she driveth o'er a pirate's neck, And then dreams he of cutting mutinous throats, Of beaches, trade winds, and sharpened blades, Of healths ten fathom deep; and then anon Cannons in his ear, at which he starts and wakes, And being thus frightened, swears a prayer or two And sleeps again. This is that very Mab That plaits the mane of horses in the night And bakes the dreadlocks in foul pirates' hairs" She gestured to Jack, standing at the wheel. "Which once untangled much misfortune bodes. This is the hag, when maids lie on their backs, Sets Jack upon them and learns them first to bear," Angelina snorted in laughter. "Making them women of good carriage. This is she-"  
  
"Peace! Peace, Jane! You talk of nothing relevant to me, although I do commend you for your rendition of Mercutio!" Angelina applauded Jane, who bowed and sat back down. "Go ahead and finish that sail. And Jane...you only use ONE thimble when you sew, not one on all your fingers." Angelina walked away. Jane looked at her fingers and glared. She shrugged and went back to threading her needle, with ALL of the thimbles still on.  
  
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Angelina wandered around some more and came to Gabriel's cabin. She heard noise from the other side and knocked. The door opened. Gabriel was dressed in a flashy costume and had on really loud music. It was Cher. Angelina beamed and invited herself in, singing at the top of her lungs. "Do you believe in life after love?"  
  
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Lina was sneaking around Will and Elizabeth's cabin, waiting for the right time to strike. She wanted to feel Will's feet. She was sure he had the softest feet ever, and if not, she would moisturize them herself.  
  
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Jesse was teaching Kat and AnnaMariea how to play Egyptian Rat Screw, and was kicking their asses at it so far.  
  
A brown haired girl had somehow found her way onto the Pearl and was playing cards with them. She kept talking about how much fun Speed was and how they should be playing it instead. A ferret was perched on her shoulder, a bow and arrows slung across her back.  
  
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Orla was snooping around the kitchens. She ran into Jack. He was looking for rum.  
  
"Say, Orla, what say you to a little rum and a day with me?" Jack asked, half drunk as it was.  
  
Orla looked at him oddly. "I thought you and...Angelina..."  
  
"I don't quite know. Ever since that 'Mysterious Pirate' came around and saved her, she's been giving me grief." Jack made his voice high and girly sounding. "'Jack, why didn't you save me?' 'Jack, I wish you were more like that Mysterious Pirate who helped me.' 'Jack, what did he look like? Did he say anything about me?'"  
  
"Ah," Orla sighed. "I guess that's how it'll be from now on until she finds out who that pirate was." Orla scooted closer, batting her eyes. "So...how about that rum? The day with you? Hm?"  
  
Jack threw his arm around her shoulders. "Well, if you insist..."  
  
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Gabriel and Angelina had worn themselves out. Wandering out on deck, they found the group playing cards.  
  
"Hello?" Angelina said to the new girl. "Have we met?"  
  
"Nope. I'm new. The name's Sarah. Pirate." the girl held out a tanned hand.  
  
"Angelina Sparrow. First mate." Angelina shook it.  
  
"I've been in the nautical business since I can remember. Me dad was a pirate. Me mum left him, so he had to take me with him."  
  
"I...ran away to be a pirate."  
  
"Hey, not bad. I can't say if I'd had a different life if I'd chosen piracy, but I love it now. I got bored with me old crew, so I left to find another. I guess I found yours." The ferret on her shoulder jumped to Angelina's arm. "That's me ferret. I don't give 'em names because it makes it easier to let them go if they...ahem...are lost at sea."  
  
"Oh, hello...uh...ferret."  
  
"I've been trying to get them to play Speed with me. I'm really good." She heaved a sigh. "But everyone is too afraid I'll beat them horribly."  
  
"Hey! I'm not afraid!" AnnaMariea called.  
  
"Sticks and stones..." Kat started.  
  
Jesse clamped a hand over her mouth. "Please, I beg of you, don't start that. I get enough of it with Orla and Gabriel."  
  
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Meanwhile, Barbossa had spotted the Pearl and was closing in for an attack. DUN DUN DUN!!!  
  
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Jane had finally finished the sail, which was mended very haphazardly. She was proud that she hadn't gotten pricked once. She looked up, out onto the horizon and saw...ferret! Jane screamed as Sarah's ferret went flying past her face. She stumbled backward and stepped on the sail, ripping it again as she fell backward.  
  
She batted at the air around her head screaming "Monstermonstermonster!"  
  
Sarah ran past, catching up the ferret from the path of Jane's fall. Jane instead fell on top of Sarah. Both girls batted away the sail and found their way to the opening. They looked at each other in confusion. The ferret skittered away.  
  
"Hi! I'm Jane!" Jane said, holding her hand out.  
  
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"Load the cannons!" Barbossa shouted. "We've got 'em right where we want 'em. Jack and that little wench are going to Davey Jones' Locker." he whispered to his monkey.  
  
The pirates loaded the guns and got ready for the signal. As Barbossa motioned to the first cannon, a man dressed all in black swung down out of the rigging and knocked the pirate lighting the cannon over. Chaos ensued on the decks of the Maiden's Bushel.  
  
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"Hey, doesn't that sound like guns?" Kat asked.  
  
"Yeah, and isn't that a ship out there?" Gabriel pointed out to a growing shape on the horizon.  
  
Jack and Orla came around the corner. "It's the Maiden's Bushel." Jack said dramatically.  
  
"The WHAT?!" Lina asked. She had finally given up on Will's feet for the time being and had strayed up onto deck as well.  
  
"Bushel??" Sarah asked.  
  
"Barbossa has an apple fetish." Jesse said.  
  
"Yeah, you should see before he has his way with a maiden. He makes her eat an apple nice and slow and he just sits there and watches her." Orla said with a giggle.  
  
"OK, that's creepy. That came a little too close for comfort." Angelina said.  
  
"How would you know that?" Gabriel asked Orla.  
  
"I spy on him sometimes for fun. I only watch when she eats the apple, and then I leave." She shuddered. "The rest is too creepy, even for blackmail."  
  
"Right. Let's change the subject now." AnnaMariea said with a hint of pleading in her voice.  
  
There were gunshots in the distance. Everyone turned towards the fast approaching ship. Will and Elizabeth came up to the deck from the galley to see what all the noise was about. Elizabeth was eating an apple. Angelina shuddered. "I am never eating an apple again."  
  
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The Maiden's Bushel finally made it within a distance that people could be made out on the deck. People were fighting. One man in all black with black hair was fighting a bunch of pirates. Angelina gasped. "It...it's him!"  
  
"Who?" Sarah asked.  
  
"Her knight in shining amour." Orla said, putting her hands over her heart and pretending to swoon. She put the back of her hand to her forehead. "Help, I think I'm going to faint!" She fell back into Gabriel, who barely caught her.  
  
"Orla, shut up."  
  
Orla pouted.  
  
"So, who is this 'Mysterious Pirate'?" Gabriel asked.  
  
"He saves Angelina every time she is in mortal danger." Jack said resentfully.  
  
"Better hurry up, Jack. You'll loose her." Sarah said, slapping Jack on the arm.  
  
"For your information," Angelina said through clenched teeth. "THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN ME AND JACK!!!"  
  
The fighting on the deck of the Maiden's Bushel stopped and everyone looked at everyone else.  
  
"Jack, we meet again." Barbossa smiled through crooked teeth. "And the lovely Angelina," he said tipping his hat. Angelina shuddered visibly.  
  
"Barbossa. It seems you're having problems with your crew." Jack nodded to the pirate in black.  
  
"He's not mine. I don't know how he got here, but I know I don't want him."  
  
'I do.' Angelina thought.  
  
"¡Hola, Misterioso Pirata!" Gabriel shouted, waving.  
  
The pirate looked around, shading his face. He tipped his hat to Angelina, and then disappeared into the rigging.  
  
"Good riddance." Barbossa and Jack muttered at the same time to themselves. For completely different reasons, of course.   
  
"I guess that this be the part where we blow the bejeezus out of each other and each other's ships, is it not, Jack?"  
  
"I guess it is." Jack replied, drawing his pistol. "Only this time, I can kill you fair and square." He pulled the trigger.  
  
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	7. Closure, Loopholes, Romance, and Suspens...

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Author's Note: I know I left you in suspense, I left MYSELF in suspense. So I had to start the next chapter right away.  
  
Author's Note #2: I think I'm coming to the end of the story, but trust me, there's going to be a long string of unanswered and unfinished stuff, so guess what that leaves room for?...Ba da da dum! A SEQUEL!!!!!  
  
Author's Note #3: Everyone in this fic is automatically moved into the sequel. The sequel basically starts about a few months at least from where this one is gonna leave off. Anyone else that will be added in the sequel CoughColoradoanscough, just let me know your stats. Same process as before.  
  
Author's Note #4: OK, I don't know why, but I've been thinking of the Mysterious Pirate as almost a Musketeer looking character. With the poofy sleeves and the feather in the hat, etc. So that's kinda how you have to imagine him as to get the full effect of his character.  
  
Author's Note #5: Okies, time for a speech and shameless self-advertising. First off, you guys have been so fun and flexible! I love all of the characters to bits! I can't wait to write the sequel and I can't wait to write another story after that!!! Yey! Pirates are the best!! Now, my self advertising: Please go to my account page. There are other stories that I have written. Read them. Write reviews. PLEASE!! I just am putting up a new on that's from the point of view of Tinkerbell. I know, a little weird topic for me, huh? I've all of a sudden come to love that little fairy. Be gentle on the reviews, though. Don't set Tink on fire, that would be bad. Thanks! Bysies until next time!  
  
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CHAPTER 7: CLOSURE, LOOPHOLES, ROMANCE, AND SUSPENSE: EVERYTHING YOU WANT  
AN ENDING TO HAVE TEE HEE   
  
"Jack, would I really give you that cheap of a shot?" Barbossa asked.  
  
"Well, you're cheap with everything else."  
  
"I knew I didn't want to hear your answer."  
  
"Why don't the two of you just beat the crap outta each other and get it over with?" Jane asked.  
  
"Because, it's not that easy. It must be a battle of wits and puns. You know pirates, you should know that by now." Orla said matter-of-factly.  
  
"It's the gentleman instinct kicking in." Jesse stated.  
  
"Well, ta hell with gentlemen, let's kill them!" AnnaMariea shouted.  
  
Everyone looked at her, then looked at Jack and Barbossa, then looked at everyone else.  
  
"I agree!" Sarah said. "Let's just have a bloody fight already!"  
  
Barbossa shrugged. "If that's what your crew wants...have at them boys!"  
  
Another battle ensued to end all battles. Surprisingly, or more just because I love all my characters, none of Jack's crew died.  
  
Jack's crew swarmed onto Barbossa's ship and started kicking major ass. Until the other pirates hauled out the heavy ammunition.  
  
"Uh oh." Rum said. "This isn't gonna be so easy."  
  
All of the Pearl's crew was taken captive.  
  
"I think I'll have some fun before making you lot walk the plank." Barbossa said, tossing an apple up and down. Angelina cringed and shuddered. "I think Jack's girl shall be first."  
  
"FOR THE LAST TIME, THERE IS NOTHING GOING ON BETWEEN JACK SPARROW AND ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Angelina screamed.  
  
"Pity." Barbossa said. "I thought Jack would have all of you boozed up, I didn't want struggle."  
  
"Well you're gonna get it." Angelina said, huffing and puffing like a bull, ready to charge at a matador. (Or a moose. I don't know why, but when I was typing, I wrote moose instead of bull. I laughed about that for a while. Sorry for the interruption.)  
  
"Feisty, are we?" Barbossa grabbed Angelina and held her by her tied hands. He cut the bonds and kissed her. She spat at his feet and wiped her mouth on her sleeve. "Shall we go through this whole episode again?"  
  
"I don't think you'll be going through anything with her."  
  
Barbossa looked up. The Mysterious Pirate was standing on one of the lower poles. He glared. "You again?"  
  
"Me again." He took his hat off and bowed, and then dropped down onto the deck. "Like I said, you won't be doing anything with this girl, or any of the others. Or Jack."  
  
"Hey! That was uncalled for!" Jack shouted.  
  
The man took Angelina's arms from Barbossa's grip. He turned her to face him and looked into her eyes for a few seconds before leaving her to untie the rest of the Pearl's crew. He strode over to Barbossa. Jack, Will and Jesse stepped up behind him.  
  
"Barbossa, I think you'll finally be visiting Davey Jones' Locker. Permanently." Will said.  
  
Lina sighed. "Lina thinks that was so hot!" She yelled. Will looked a little unnerved, but left it at that. That girl was getting to be kind of creepy. Not that she hadn't been in the first place.  
  
"I think you're wrong, Mr. Turner."  
  
Will drew his sword. Lina sighed. All four men defending the Pearl and the girls advance on Barbossa, weapons out. Lina and Sarah strung their bows. AnnaMariea, Rum, Kat, and Jane drew out their knives and swords. Angelina was still swooning. Orla and Gabriel batted Angelina around for a while and brought her back to her senses. The three of them drew their blades.  
  
Barbossa didn't look threatened, but let them back him up against a wall.  
  
"Jack, how are ye going to win against me and my crew?"  
  
"We'll manage. Remember, this is reminiscent of a Disney Action/Adventure movie."  
  
"Well, I don't think the rating should be Disney safe." Barbossa said and sliced at Jack's sword hand with a dagger he had pulled out. Jack sank back and the rest of the crew descended on Barbossa.  
  
Barbossa was finally tied up. Angelina took it upon herself to stick and apple in Barbossa's mouth to gag him.  
  
"That felt so good." she announced.  
  
The rest of Barbossa's crew was easily captured and everyone was taken to the hold, except Barbossa. He was left for Jack to dispose of...  
  
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Rum set both ships to sail back to Tortuga. Jack was super-happy.  
  
"We'll have to show you how to have a REAL time, me boy." He said, slapping Jesse on the back.  
  
Jesse looked at Jack warily.  
  
"Don't worry, you get used to it."  
  
"That's what I'm afraid of." Jesse said. "I don't want to get used to the...less finer points of pirating."  
  
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Orla and Gabriel were chatting about finding a home to split payments on temporarily in Tortuga. AnnaMariea was showing interest in a place of residence as well. Kat was complaining about being restless and not wanting to stay in Tortuga long. Rum and she were planning finding a ship and crew in Tortuga to go off pirating by themselves.  
  
Jane was hoping to find a job acting when they landed. Also, wanting to find a house to keep all of her hats in.  
  
Sarah, who had been pirating long before this, had the same idea as Kat and Rum, but she was hoping to recruit Lina. The two had made a connection through her ferret. It liked Lina and Lina liked it.  
  
Elizabeth and Will were hoping to settle down for a bit now, seeing as they had just gotten moved in when this whole thing happened.  
  
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Angelina was standing at the front of the ship watching the land come into view, when she felt someone watching her. She spun around and saw the Mysterious Pirate leaning against the wheel.  
  
"Good day, M'Lady."  
  
She smiled. "Good day...pirate."  
  
He walked over to her side and leaned on the railing.  
  
"It seems like I only just started out on this trip and now it's over." She sighed.  
  
"No adventure is ever completely over. There's always something or someone to carry it on."  
  
"Wise words from someone I hardly know."  
  
"I don't give advice until I feel a connection with a person."  
  
Angelina looked at him, and then turned away nervously with a small laugh.  
  
He laughed with her.  
  
"I wish I could repay you for all that you've done. Saving me...and my crewmates."  
  
"All in a day's work." he said, laughing again.  
  
"I'm serious." She slapped his arm gently. Her hand stayed there. He put his hand over hers. "What can I give you in return?" she asked quietly.  
  
"Not much."  
  
"But, what?"  
  
"Just this." He said, pulling her to him and kissing her deeply.  
  
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Okies, sorry about the sappy ending. I had to put it in. Can't you just see that in a Disney movie? Now let's all let it out at once, K? Uno, Dos, Tres: AWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!! Good. I don't need any of that. LOL. But seriously, I'm going to have a sequel. I just need a title...I have the plot. Evil cackle You're all going to find it weird at first, but I think it'll make the story funnier as the characters find out the plot.  
  
Oh, and Kat, Lina, and Jane: Whaps them on their heads Stop laughing! Shhh!!! ¡Silencio!, as Gabriel would put it.   
  
Well, I'll see you all later in my next Pirates of the Caribbean fic! 


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